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Is It Real Love or Are you Wasting Your Time?

With all the online dating that goes on today, it is difficult to say who is serious and who is just playing with your emotions and wasting your time. Many become victims of false love online, believing they have finally found someone special who truly understands them and sees them in a way no one was ever able to see them before, only find out that they were being toyed with emotionally, taken advantage of and used. Finding Love online is not impossible and there are many success stories out there, but like all dating, it does not come without its risks and challenges. If you are prepared and understand the world of online dating, you can find a real meaningful loving relationship.

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Guys looking for a little action should check out the free dating sites and apps out there. While the free apps and sites are not 100% legit, they can provide a great place to meet people, and if they are legit and legitimate, you’ll be set for a happy. If we’re talking about free stuff, Match.com is like the free food of dating sites — it’s the best. It’s absolutely free to fill out a profile (with info about yourself and your ideal date or partner), browse through members, receive at least five matches a day, flirt (e.g., like people and send winks), receive Yes Ratings (those who’ve said yes to being interested in you), and hear. LOGGING ON FOR LOVE. The UK’s online dating market grew 73.5% from 2009-14. It is currently worth £165m a year, which is predicted to rise to £225m by 2019. More than a quarter of UK adults.

Why Online Dating is so Appealing:

So why exactly is dating online so alluring? Though the reasons vary for everyone, majority of people tend to find themselves looking for love online because it is mysterious and allows them to really be in touch with their fantasies, as well making it possible (at least for a short while) make all their romantic dreams come true. When you first meet a person online, you can create this whole character of what the other person is like, whether they really are like that or not. You can create this whole romantic situation that you normally would not find outside on the social scene with other people around. Meeting someone online is like a small private romantic world you create for yourself and this is one of the main reasons people feel so seduced by the whole net-dating idea.

However, many often get carried away creating a fantasy world and set themselves up for love fraud- ending up being used or stringed along, leaving them deeply hurt and angry.

Top 3 signs You are Wasting Your Time:

1. The person you met online hesitates to give you a picture of him or her after a reasonable period of time.
2. You find out you have been given the wrong name<
3. He or She never makes an effort to actually commit to a date and see you in person: If they keep making excuses as to why they cannot see you in person, then something is wrong. Sure, there are reasonable excuses at times, but if this person truly wants a chance with you, then he/she will not blow off every opportunity to see you.

Top 3 Signs It's Worth Your Time:

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The person you met online is honest and open about who he/she is and gives you honest names and pictures
1. Is eager to get together with you as much as possible in person after a reasonable amount of time (when you both feel ready and comfortable)
2. Stops browsing the dating sites for other people after meeting you: If you are looking for serious love and the person claims to really like you and is truly interested in forming a relationship with you, then he/she will no longer feel the need to explore 'other fish in the sea'.
3. One more major thing you must always remember to stay in touch with is your instincts. Many people ignore their instincts, telling themselves that they are just being paranoid or picky- they rather ignore red flags instead of face the truth because they so want to believe that they have found true love. Do yourself a favor and trust that inner voice inside you- your best friend who will never lie to you. Do not lower your standards and never settle for less out of fear of being alone.

If you need advice on finding a fulfilling relationship or improving a relationship to a more fulfilling one, sign up for an e-session here.

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Gone are the days when fostering a romantic connection with someone online was considered taboo. Dating apps have normalized using the internet to find love, but anyone who's seen Catfish — the documentary-turned-reality series — knows that opening yourself up to love online can also come with some serious risks. So, can you fall in love online before meeting someone face-to-face? And if so, is it safe to open up to them without ever having been in the same room together? According to Diana Dorell, intuitive dating coach and author of The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again, without real-life contact, you run the risk of developing strong feelings for the idea of someone, not the person themselves.

'Without being able to spend time with someone in person [in] real life, it could be easier to fall in lust or fall in love with an idea of who they are [versus] who they actually are,' Dorell previously told Elite Daily. 'It's also an idealized version of love because without meeting in real life, you also conveniently skip the everyday nuances and challenges that arise when you share a life together.' Although this doesn't necessarily mean that the person you're falling for is lying or purposely trying to mislead you, it can mean you're basing your connection on feelings that haven't been reinforced by IRL experiences — making it more likely that you're not seeing the full picture of who they are.

That said, Dorell explained that it is possible to experience falling in love virtually, especially if you've been communicating via video chat. 'It's possible to form a strong emotional connection, and even spiritual connection, to someone you've never met in real life — particularly now with things like FaceTime or Skype, it's also possible to feel a physical attraction to someone,' she added. But it's important to keep in mind that if all of your conversations have been through messaging, this can be a major red flag that the person you're becoming invested in may have something to hide.

Unfortunately, finding love can be hard, which makes it tempting to pursue connections that might not be as sound as you think they are. Behavioral scientist and relationship coach Clarissa Silva believes that the frustration of dating apps could be part of the problem. 'Dating apps are creating a paradox effect: Giving off the illusion of many choices while making it harder to find viable options,' she said. 'For many, the attachment to a person despite never meeting them is really about the desire to be loved.' Silva went on to explain that this type of relationship can lead to very real emotional responses, but it can also make it hard to know if you're investing in a relationship that has IRL potential.

Although it's easy to focus on the positives and ignore the red flags, proceed with caution if you're getting close to someone who you've never met — especially if you haven't even seen them via video chat. If they're sincere, they're probably just as eager as you are to set a date to meet in person, or to Skype if you're long-distance or stuck at home.

There's nothing wrong with meeting someone and developing an attachment to them online, but make sure you're not rationalizing an irrational situation. 'The idea [of someone] can create illusions that you’re in a healthy relationship because it is what we choose not to see,' says Silva. 'Even though we might not be aware of it consciously, subconsciously we are compensating for the elements that are missing. So, it becomes a perfectly fine relationship.'

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'If you find yourself rationalizing that it is a perfectly fine relationship to your family and friends, it may not be true love,' said Silva. And as scary as it may be to think that this person could be catfishing you, don't let your fear get in the way of following your gut. Anyone who has good intentions will be more than willing to come out from behind their screen to solidify your relationship face-to-face.

Sources cited:

Diana Dorell, intuitive dating coach and author of The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again

Clarissa Silva, behavorial scientist and relationship coach